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Thus spake Pei Mei

If there might be one precept I’ve followed all my grownup existence, it’s this: flatten the curve.

As a teen, I spent two years at a monastery in Japan’s Kumamoto prefecture, studying the White Lotus School of Zen-Wushu. My trainer became the nice Kittaka Waradada, a disciple of the legendary Pei Mei. You would per chance per chance well perchance per chance own seen Pei Mei in a famed Hollywood movie whose name I’m forgetting. It became Pei Mei who invented the 5 Point Palm Exploding Coronary heart Methodology, the spend of which it is possible you’ll per chance well perchance flatten the curve of an enemy’s existence line with a single deadly blow dropped on the heart.

It’s one thing to flatten the curve of an bad human’s existence line, and one other to flatten the curve of an amoral virus’s infections and aspirations. Concept to be among the first things you learn in Zen-Wushu is that no creature within the universe is redundant, or as Kittaka-san would speak, dispensable.

Annihilate them

The virus wants the the same thing you blueprint: a lifetime of that blueprint. It doesn’t are searching to die taking into consideration its existence has been pointless. And new coronaviruses, Kittaka-san tells me, are more plucky than their predecessors equivalent to H1N1. They own the resilience, mental toughness, and the seven habits of extremely efficient viruses. That’s how they’ve the self-have an eye on to lie low and infect a nice number from a single host before their presence might per chance well perchance be detected by activity of signs.

If you happen to’ve seen the Hollywood movie whose name I’m forgetting, it is possible you’ll per chance well perchance do now not forget that Pei Mei became invincible. He might per chance well perchance bag his immune blueprint to defeat any virus that challenged him. How did he blueprint it? That’s precise, he flattened the rattling curve. The precise news is it is possible you’ll per chance well perchance blueprint it, too — for these that know frequent Zen-Wushu. Even though it’s anxious to grasp, it’s now not most now not going for these that might per chance well perchance own got the will.

Truly, all it is possible you’ll per chance well perchance own got to blueprint is awaken the White Lotus interior you. To blueprint so, it is possible you’ll per chance well perchance own got to first practise mindfulness. While it is possible you’ll per chance well perchance take into accout, you became recent to each breach of your body’s defences. As you gradually attain intra-mobile self-awareness, the White Lotus will delivery itself to you, after which something miraculous occurs: you are going to obtain the curve knocking down itself, because it had been. Your consciousness will penetrate your immune blueprint. As antagonistic to watching helplessly as unnerved, overwhelmed antibodies commit collective hara-kiri in a cytokine storm, you are going to, as your body’s commander-in-chief, straight steal on the unconventional coronaviruses ravaging your body and annihilate them alongside with your Zen-Wushu.

Shut your eyes

Zen-Wushu, unfortunately, takes time to grasp. Given the COVID-19 disaster, how does one speedy bag entry to the White Lotus? Successfully, there are shortcuts. You would per chance per chance well perchance clap. You would per chance per chance well perchance bang plates. Otherwise it is possible you’ll per chance well perchance light candles at an opportune 2nd when the portal to the White Lotus is delivery. I do know you’ve tried all of them and nothing worked. Without prior coaching, they hardly blueprint. But blueprint now not despair. Kittaka-san taught me a runt bit-identified curve-knocking down hack that anybody can learn and keep within the comfort of their have quarantine.

First, bag into some free, gay clothes, ideally made of cotton, linen or modal. Obtain a aloof, frigid and dry place, faraway from utter sunlight hours, equivalent to where your store your medicines, but now not the refrigerator. Sit down, within the lotus self-discipline, obviously. Eradicate an egg. While a regular rooster’s egg would blueprint ravishing, the finest results had been observed with a peacock’s egg — technically, after all, it will be a peahen’s egg, but you bag my level.

Now place the egg on the centre of your left palm. One section of the egg’s bottom might per chance well own to tranquil touch your existence line whereas one other section might per chance well own to tranquil touch the heart line. Your arm must be absolutely stretched. Shut your eyes, and with the palm of your precise hand, flatten the curve of the egg. While you flatten the egg’s curve without inflicting it to rupture, it turns precise into a straight line, straight killing all new coronaviruses within a 56-metre radius. You would per chance per chance well perchance now not be ready to blueprint this the first time, but don’t stop. Most folk can flatten the curve by 1-2% in their 100th attempt. Of route, that also blueprint 99 broken eggs.

If you happen to might per chance well perchance be vegetarian and of route feel dreadful within the presence of an egg, it is possible you’ll per chance well perchance spend golgappas (also identified as ‘paani puri’ in some parts). But the golgappas must be unusual and crunchy. Ought to you’re questioning for these that might per chance well spend an idli, the answer isn’t any. Upright, idlis own implausible curves. But idlis don’t rupture, and there might be nothing to be won by knocking down the curve of a flexible idli.

I’m conscious that some folks are both born to or married to folks that own idlis which are theoretically breakable — idlis so anxious it is possible you’ll per chance well perchance’t flatten their curve even with a hammer. But I’m sorry. Pei Mei acknowledged no idlis, and that’s the toll road we follow on the White Lotus School of Zen-Wushu. Folks speak it’s a curvy line. But then, folks which are a success don’t bag troubled by what folks speak.

G. Sampath is Social Affairs Editor, The Hindu.

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